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[15 Aug 2005|02:43am] |
I don't like updating, but unfortunately, here I am.
My life is a mess and everything is pretty miserable. Awesome!
& I'd really like to see some people I haven't seen in awhile. Get in touch.
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| a few things |
[19 Jul 2005|06:07pm] |
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music |
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I don't listen to music |
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1, fuck credit cards and "overlimit fees." fuck having a bill $43 over my CREDIT LIMIT.
2, fuck pontiac sunfires and their ability to be shitty.
3, furthermore, fuck people and their ability to be shitty.
4, fuck bj's wholesale club for having shitty hours, and fuck the US government for taking too many taxes out of my paychecks.
5, where does all my money go? I've made $2000 at my job and I have less than thirty dollars in my checking account.
6, if anyone would like to purchase a white volkswagon cabrio for me, it would be immensely appreciated!
7, I hope to have one of the above mentioned before the end of the summer.
8, LIFETIME REUNION? unbelievable.
9, why am I sitting at home on my day off? oh my.
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| the truth (and a few lies) |
[12 Jul 2005|12:48am] |
My life (as always) is not where I want it to be.
I've become detached from most of my friends - whether they know or not.
Along with that, I cannot stand my friends.
do things I don't normally do in hopes that something will excite me and bring me out of this
although, everytime, it fails.
Most of the things I read are a glimpse into the life I would like to lead.
Gizmo is one of the only things that truly makes me happy (he is a dog.)
It's not even that I want thing to go back to the way they were a year and a half ago.
I just want something new, period.
If I had the strength I would pack up and leave, but I don't and I won't for some time.
That's just how I am.
That's one of the many things I wish I could change.
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[21 Jun 2005|09:56pm] |
Since summer's began I haven't really hung out with anyone from school and I'm kind of enjoying that. Lots of seaside, and lots of promises to hang out with people I haven't seen in ages.
I'm seeing the get up kids with ashleigh!!@ on sunday and I can't wait.
That's it. Oh, and I still don't know what I'm doing with my life.
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[16 Jun 2005|11:47pm] |
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I'm done with high school!
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[12 Jun 2005|10:44pm] |
I still don't know what to do (about EVERYTHING.)
other than that - I graduate in a few days which is pretty sweet but also kind of scary - for the reason that now I don't have anything tying me down to anywhere - before it was you go to the school you're required to and that was that - now it's do what you want - and I've always wanted that, and now that I have it, where do I start?
having a job that pays decently and being able to buy what you want is awesome, except I have this nagging feeling I should be saving for something and I don't want to figure out what it is.
all I know is that I almost feel relieved when I know my plans are made for me (ie:work) and all this time I've been saying I hate that. I know it's just myself being scared of new things (although I used to say I never was?) but everything right now is really nerveracking. I want to take the easy way out but I know I shouldn't, but the thing is, maybe it actually is what's right for me - and I should listen to myself on this one and not my friends or my family.
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[10 Jun 2005|12:01am] |
hello; I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I have to make a bunch of important decisions soon and I keep procrastinating, because I don't know where to begin.
This summer is going to be a true test.
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[23 May 2005|01:17pm] |
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what happened to this?
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[28 Feb 2005|07:47pm] |
so, I only update this thing with college shit and one line entries. maybe it's time to change that? for today, at least.
I have three more absences allowed from school until I can't graduate.
these past two years I've lost touch with a lot of people
stopped being friends with some for one reason or another
and generally lost a bunch of the people I used to spend my time with
and I miss most of them.
I have fallen so far behind in school that I can't even begin to care anymore
I wish I knew where all my time went.
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| ACCEPTANCES UPDATE! |
[04 Feb 2005|11:03pm] |
I got my acceptance letter to Drexel last week.
today I got a letter telling me that they are giving me a renewable scholarship of $9000! Which, of course, equals $36,000. Too bad Drexel is still mad expensive....I have to wait for the whole fafsa thing to be done with. I can't wait until this whole thing is over with.
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| SUP. I never do these things. |
[26 Jan 2005|02:12pm] |
[01] Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
[02] I will then tell what song[s] remind me of you.
[03] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
[04] Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
[05] Put this in your journal!
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[23 Jan 2005|12:09am] |
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I'm 18!!!
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| fragments and run-ons and the first real entry in over a year. |
[18 Jan 2005|05:46pm] |
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sometimes I feel so completely suffocated that I can't breathe. it's barely for a second or two, but it's there, and it's enough to remind me that maybe the direction I'm going isn't the one I'm aspiring to go to.
I have a habit of developing sort of obsessions over people I hardly know. not an obsession to say that I'm in love with someone, because in that area, my love goes to one place only... moreso it's that I become obsessed with how that person just is. It's like that quote I underlinded in On the Road over a year and a half ago about the the "mad ones" and the popping and the ones who yearn to just live to the fullest. because that's what I want to be surrounded by. back to the original point, I develop these obsessions with people whom I hope to be one of the "mad ones", someone who is completely absurd and ridiculous who whole heartedly not only believes in carpe diem, but acts on it.
then, I get (or make an attempt to) know them. and most of the time I'm disappointed. I guess it's the factor of mystery, wondering what he/she is thinking, how their mind works, if there's any sort truth in their madness or they're just plain posers. [which, more often than not, they are.] once the mystery is solved I am just plain bored.
but then there are those few, the ones I surround myself with most of the time, the ones I'm wonderfully close with, and the ones who I sometimes rarely talk to but when I do, there's no awkward silences or mundane small talk. and thus, my obsession continues.
I'd like to believe that I am a person that jack kerouac would be friends with [of course, if he was alive], but then I figure that anyone who thinks about whether they are or aren't probably isn't.
point being?
absolutely nothing, as usual.
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| DESTINATION: DC OR BUST |
[16 Jan 2005|05:27pm] |
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WELL, on Thursday the 20th, Sio, Adam, and I are taking a trip down to DC to join the protest against Bush's inauguration. Any one else want to join?
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[11 Jan 2005|10:11pm] |
ACCEPTANCES:
D
D
Montclair
T
Temple PLUS a $10,000 scholarship.
V
neither schools I want to go to, I don't think.
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| david sedaris is my new love and phil mackenzie is my winter semi-formal date. <3 |
[08 Jan 2005|01:19am] |
Everything I want to write in here sounds SO MUCH BETTER in my head than it does here. I don't want to write about asinine shit like how my day was in English class or how I omg went to the best party omg. BUT WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO MENTION? I sit around and waste, waste, waste. I've been accepted to 2 colleges (neither I plan on attending) and I took that as the signal to stop going and/or making any effort in school. SUP DREXEL, WHERE'S MY ACCEPTANCE LETTER? Something tells my guidance is that fucking retarded that they forgot to fill out one of the forms.
OH YEAH! 
THIS IS GIZMO. SAY HELLO. COME VISIT.
Pertaining to the SUBJECT, the reason I'm going with Phil is because Adam is going to be in the studio that weekend. :( I have minimal $$$ but I love them so much that I'm donating $150 to their recording fund because I just love them that much.
BY THE WAY: http://www.purevolume.com/raleighstclaire
I've also made the decision that following high school, I plan on keeping in touch with, count it: 5 people. Plan on not being one of them.
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[11 Nov 2004|10:48pm] |
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oh, hello.
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